Tired of Repeating Relationship Patterns? How Individual EFT Therapy Helps
Interacting with your partner should not feel like the sequel to Groundhog Day.
Of course, we all realize that relationships do have a way of settling into patterns. But the same can be said for how and why you enter into these relationships.
Do you meet new people but bring your old patterns with you — desperately hoping for different results? It might be about meeting the “right” or “wrong” person. Just as easily, it might be more about what you bring to each connection.
There’s some good news, though. Your relationship patterns can be changed and individual Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) may be the ideal path to such an outcome.
Why Do We Repeat Our Relationship Patterns?
Most often, your relationship patterns spring from the attachment style you learned as a young child. Generally speaking, these attachment styles fall into three broad categories:
- Secure: Having grown up knowing your caregivers had your best interests at heart leads you into adult relationships with a sense of security.
- Avoidant: If you were neglected as a child, you may be hesitant to display negative emotions for fear of being ignored again. Instead, you suppress these emotions and sabotage your relationships.
- Anxious: Being a child with unreliable and inconsistent caretakers creates anxiety. You may become what is known as “needy” or “clinging” which can drive your partners away.
Of course, there is a fair amount of overlap and fluidity but the general categories can be very helpful in deciphering your patterns.
What is Individual Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
As I discussed in a recent post, EFT is a short-term therapeutic approach for couples — usually 8 to 20 sessions — based on attachment theory. Put simply, when you understand your attachment style, you may be able to express your needs and emotions more productively.
Most people view EFT as being for couples and, in a way, that’s true. However, it doesn’t have to automatically be couples counseling. There are two common ways for individual EFT to serve that purpose:
- If you are single, you may wish to try EFT before considering another relationship.
- If you are in a relationship full of strife, individual EFT can prepare you to do the work needed to change that situation.
How Does Individual EFT Help?
EFT Gives You Freedom to Talk
Couples counseling can be revelatory. It can also feel stifling. If you and your partner are struggling, you just may not feel comfortable sharing openly in front of them. To break through patterns and get un-stuck, you need to air out your deepest grievances. Individual EFT sessions may be the ideal scenario for that breakthrough. It may also be your opportunity to experience genuine relational freedom.
EFT Identifies Past Patterns
As touched on above, your patterns frequently impact your quality of life. Without even realizing it, you may be setting up roadblocks in your own path! Your EFT therapist will be carefully guiding you through a proven process designed to reveal your unhealthy habits to yourself.
EFT Allows You To Safely Role Play and Practice
This is a chance to learn some valuable new skills. It’s daunting to imagine trying out fresh approaches on a current partner or (if you’re single) a potential partner. You accept that your patterns need to change but how do you know what new patterns to try? Your individual EFT sessions are your safe space to role play and practice with a skilled guide on hand.
Where Can You Learn More?
Congratulations on wanting to break past old relationship patterns. The next step on this journey is to reach out and schedule a free consultation. I’m here and I’m ready to help you use individual EFT to move past the Groundhog Day syndrome. Please contact me to learn more.